Forgiveness 1: Am I Forgiven?


This is probably the most important – and misunderstood part of a Christian woman’s life. We have a hard time forgiving ourselves. People hurt us, and out of our embedded survival code, we naturally put walls up so we are not hurt again. Family relies on us. We are not allowed to get sick. We are not allowed to be wounded. Bad things happen to us. We have heard stories of women whose husbands didn’t want them after a rape. We have all heard stories of women who couldn’t live with their husband’s neglect and ended up on various medications. Bad things happen if a woman is hurt.   

Women have a hard time believing that God can forgive their sins. It is hard to accept the fact that Jesus’ blood is sufficient to cover ALL your sins.


So how do we balance the reality of our world with the faith that God will forgive us? What if we’ve been pulled into a darker world than most women can even dream exists? Can he still forgive us?

I was recently hit hard with this question. I was in a chat and told that if I don’t forgive, I am not going to be saved. “We are forgiven as we forgive.” Well, I am sorry, but there is a lot more to forgiveness than throwing ‘absolutes’ to a person, especially a fragile or new Christian.

For example, Jesus said, “Anyone who calls on my name shall be saved.” This is an absolute. Jesus said, “If you obey my commandments”. This is another absolute. Jesus had one commandment, that we love one another.  When someone starts judging you, they are not only contradicting Jesus’ words, but they are also judging you. 

Gods plan was to send his son to die so he could extend mercy and grace to those who believe in Him. This mercy and grace was meant to free us from the bondage of the law. It didn’t eliminate the law, but it does offer unconditional forgiveness for ALL our sins.


Jesus can, and will forgive you. This doesn’t mean that you are giving the person the ability to continue to hurt you, or that you will not suffer consequences of your own creation. It does mean that you are going to heaven, you are saved, and that (like everyone else) you are working out your salvation one day at a time.

Jesus took ALL of your sins on himself when he died on the cross.


Many people have a warped sense of what the worst sins are. For example, the 7 deadly sins include gluttony, fornication, murder, … you know them. However, the sins that are an abomination start with ‘a haughty look, a lying tongue, someone who bears false witness against another…. (VERSE)

God is more concerned with our hearts.  He knows we are going to make mistakes. He knows that humans are weak. And, in fact, many Christians have a hard time understanding the true scope of what some sins encompass. Just look at how many Christian men are addicted to porn. Just look at how many Christian women gossip – often in the ‘lie’ that they are just spreading a prayer request.

That is why he sent his beloved son to die on the cross, to cover ALL your sins.


This is the question that haunts most of us. We can walk in love, but we are not perfect. Most of us struggle just to survive. We understand that we need to love, forgive, be merciful, but what has happened to us ‘messed up’ the way we think, reason, and react in situations. Some of us are on medication that makes it difficult to react in a Christian manner.  

When someone who has reached a level of perfection (or thinks they have) drags us back under the law, we can doubt that we are saved. The important thing to remember is that Jesus said, “My sheep hear my voice and follow.” He also said, “If you believe on me, you will be saved.” Over and Over, he told people, “Stop stressing. Just call on me. I will save you.”

This is an unconditional salvation. He means that he will save us from Hell. He will save us from the prisons we create in our own mind. He wills save us from the perfect people who have it all together and can quote 1 bible verse out of context and use it to make you doubt your own salvation. He will save you from your own fears, emotions, doubts, and insecurities. All you need to do is “Call On His Name.”

The blood Jesus shed is sufficient to cover ALL of my sins, ALL of your sins, even those you cannot forgive yourself for – even when you have not forgiven someone who has hurt you.

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