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Unforgiveness Part #1

(Before I go any farther, I want to make it clear that the situations that I am dealing with in this blog, are NOT from abuse, or where a crime has taken place. These traumas are for professionals who would take you through a healing process that is appropriate to each situation. Please seek help, if this has happened to you. The day-to-day incidents that I am covering still hurt, but do not require professional intervention.)

Unforgiveness is something that every Christian has to deal with. It is impossible to get along all of the time. People will hurt you. They can be friends, family or even strangers. It is just a fact of life.

While it is true that you will be hurt at some point, it is also true that you’ll have to come to terms with what has happened. The reason for this is that it is a part of healing. When you heal from people’s injuries, you make room in your heart for those around you, including God.

People will do or say things that you cannot even fathom why they did or said what they did. Most times, it is a misunderstanding. Both sides become angry, and say things that they don’t really mean. Unfortunately, it is difficult to take back those words. Every time you see that person, the scene plays back in your mind. The anger reappears, the hurt goes deeper, and the relationship takes one more step on its way towards being beyond repair.

It is at this point, that unforgiveness creeps in. It is a defense mechanism. You don’t want to be hurt again. (How could they do that to ME?) You don’t want to let that person get close to you again. (Why should I leave myself open for another ATTACK?) You don’t want to let them off the hook either. (What do I look like, an idiot? They are not going to get off that EASY.)

Over the years, there are many different situations that are encountered. Every one of them that causes you pain, brings a flood of past memories. You look for patterns and similarities. In your mind, you try to figure out how to avoid them. The unforgiveness appears quicker, and the bitterness stay longer.

While you are building up your unforgiveness wall, you are creating a prison for your heart. Every brick that is laid makes it more difficult to reach out to others. Fear prevents you from trying. It is truly a vicious cycle.

In part two of this blog, I will discuss ways of erasing the Unforgiveness syndrome. Stay tuned. All is not lost.

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